QuiverX Newsletter - Set a Good Precedent

Parenting

Continuing our series about children, let's talk about older babies and toddlers. Sleeping problems are common issues with this age group. Here are some of the things I do to deal with them.

First, when my babies are about 6 months old, I move their night sleeping place out of my room. It seems like this is the age where they realize that I am right there and I'll pick them up if they start to fuss. I suddenly find myself nursing them every 2 hours all night long. So I put their portacrib in a room that is empty, so if they wake up and cry at night they won't wake anyone else up. In my home, that is often the living room. I'll put the baby to bed in our room at first, then move them to their crib in the living room when we go to bed and the house is quiet, usually nursing them again while I'm there. Then I use the baby monitor so I know when they need to nurse in the night. It's amazing how making this small change will adjust their nursing schedule. Suddenly they only need to nurse once or twice a night again!

The second thing we do to help our children sleep is to keep the toddlers in a portacrib instead of moving them up to a bed. We keep them in a crib through those years where they would test us by getting back up out of bed when they are supposed to be sleeping. I think this helps them learn that bedtime is bedtime, not time to play and see how many times they can get back up each night.

When we do move a child to a toddler size bed, they are usually 3 or so. We know we'll have to do some training with them to establish that they need to stay in bed after we say goodnight, but it doesn't take very long for them to learn. They are used to going to bed and going to sleep, so the quickly adjust to the new bed or room.

Sometimes a toddler who has been sleeping through the night will wake up in the night for some reason. Usually, if they don't go back to sleep pretty quickly, I'll have to go try to settle them down. This often means getting them up and cuddling them in a dark room for a bit. Sometimes they seem to think it should be time to get up, and seeing the house all dark and quiet helps them see that it's still sleeping time. Sometimes I think they had a bad dream or were too hot or too cold, and a good cuddle with Mom helps them calm down. Once in a while the child won't want to go back to sleep. If I can't get them to settle down, I have to let them cry. Since my toddlers share a room with my daughter, I'll move her to the couch for the rest of the night so the crying doesn't keep her up. (She doesn't mind - she feels like it's a slumber party.)

One other aspect of sleeping for this age is naps. My kids take naps till they are 5 or so. They don't always sleep when they get older, but I have them lay down anyway. When it starts to bother them, I cut down the number of days they nap. If they don't get cranky, I slowly wean them off naps.

Some things we don't do are sleep with our older babies in our bed or get roped into sitting with a child until they fall asleep. Some families are able to make this work, but it doesn't work for us.
Keep in mind that what works for one family won't necessarily work for another family. I try to consider things that work for other families, but some things just aren't a good fit. So when you are reading these ideas, keep that in mind.


Finances

I know we are all feeling the pinch right now because of increased prices, especially for gas and groceries. It's easy to feel like you can't afford to go anywhere or do anything. Last week I heard someone say they couldn't afford to drive across town to go shopping, so they only shop on their side of town. I'm sure these sentiments are common right now.

It occurred to me that the true costs involved in driving across town are really less than we think. My van gets about 13 mpg. Driving to the other side of town here is about 7 miles, so a round trip costs me 1 gallon of gas - $4. A few years ago that same trip would cost me $1-2, so we are really talking about spending an extra $2. That's not very much money. That's less than I would spend on a fast food cheeseburger meal. It's less than a gallon of milk. It's less than a footlong sub at Subway!

We do need to be aware of stresses on our budget, especially with prices rising all around us. Most of us have already had to adjust our budgets, or our grocery lists, because of the higher prices. Some of us might even be in the situation where we truly don't have the extra $2 for that trip across town. But when we are making choices about what to cut and what to keep, we need to be aware of the true cost of things. It doesn't do us any good to get stressed about things that really don't make a big difference. I spend more on cable tv than on trips across town. If my budget really needs an adjustment, dropping those trips won't do as much good as cancelling the cable.

So let's be realistic in the changes we are making. It will keep our stress levels down and make life easier.


Quick Tip

I have begun to realize the power of setting a precedent in my family. What I mean is that it's easier to keep doing something that you have been doing than it is to start something new. So if you start doing something with your first baby, it will be easy to continue doing that with your next baby and so on after that. This is a powerful thing!

Use it to your advantage! As quickly as possible, set a precedent for something you want to see, like having your children put their dishes on the counter after they eat. Focus on making it happen with the children you have, especially the older ones. Pretty soon, the younger ones will follow suit without you really having to say very much. It will just become the way it is in your home.

Keep in mind that this principle works against you too. It works against you when you are trying to change bad habits. If your children are used to getting back up out of bed several times each night, this principle will lead your next child to do it too, and so forth with each subsequent child. So you need to keep this in mind when you see a bad habit forming in your children. Address it as soon as possible so it doesn't get passed down to the rest of the children.

This is the #1 thing I would tell new parents. If they take the time to start the proper habits in their child from the start, those good habits will naturally pass down to the other children. It will make life much easier if the habits that naturally pass down are good ones.


2 Timothy 3:15 NKJV "[A]nd that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus."