QuiverX Newsletter - Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde?

Parenting

The next installment of our series in parenting focuses on the 5-6 year old.

It always amazes me when my preschooler turns 5 years old. Even after having had 5 of my children turn 5 years old, I am still taken by surprise when my peaceful and balanced 4 year old turns 5 and suddenly changes. The best analogy I can think of to describe a 5 year old is Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.

When my 5 year old is busy learning something or enjoying life, everything is good and they are the happiest child you could ever see. But when you have to change their activity or tell they they can't do something, look out for Mr. Hyde! Suddenly my child, who I thought was finished with temper tantrums, is wailing or crying or pouting as if they had just reverted to being 2 again.

But, the good news is that this stage doesn't last as long as it did when they were 2. It seems like by the time my children turn 6 they are pretty happy and balanced again. Soon those tantrums are a distant memory. Maybe that's why I am always surprised when my next child turns 5!
This age is not all temper and frustration, though. It has a lot of good things too! This is the age where children are learning so many new things! If they didn't know their letters, numbers and colors already, they will soon learn them. They will start to learn to read and count and write. At this age imaginary play is wonderful to watch, and they are beginning to learn to follow rules in games, which opens a whole new world of play in the form of board games.

I have developed some strategies for dealing with children of this age. I keep expecting good behavior, even while I know in the back of my mind that I might have to deal with some tantrums. This keeps me from being surprised by the behavior that I'm likely to encounter, but it also keeps me from accepting it and allowing it to become a habit.

I do try to keep children of this age busy with something productive. They are still a bit sponge-like, if you'll remember my last article, but by this age they are usually wanting to learn things that are more applicable to school. So I try to keep them busy coloring and practicing writing and counting and working with math manipulatives and cutting with scissors. Sometimes a child this age isn't interested in some of these things, so I don't push it, but most kids this age are interested in at least some of these activities.

When it comes to homeschooling, I don't push too hard with children this age. My goal for them is that they learn to love learning and to look forward to school because it's fun and exciting. So I let them participate with the older children as they want, and then I work with them individually in just a couple of areas - usually phonics and math. The rest of the time I try to play off their own interests. I don't want to make them sit down for hours each day doing a lot of bookwork. That will discourage them and teach them that school is boring.

Children aged 5 or 6 are a mixture of challenge and delight. If you nurture the curiosity while teaching the self control to overcome the temper, you will set the stage for some wonderful elementary school years.


Recipe

Since I started to cook from scratch more at home, I have been frustrated because so many good recipes use canned cream soups. I love those recipes, especially since they are simple, yummy, and can be nutritious, but in my efforts to eliminate the artificial chemicals and preservatives from our diet, I refused to buy the canned soups. I am so happy to say that I have found a recipe for condensed cream soup that really works. Quick casseroles and easy crock pot meals are back on the menu! Hooray!

Cream Soup Substitute
1 Tbs butter
3 Tbs flour
1/2 c. chicken broth (or beef, or vegetable, depending on what you are making)
1/2 c. milk
salt and pepper to taste
Add-ins for the soup you are replacing - celery, mushrooms, chicken, asparagus, etc.

Melt butter in saucepan over med-low heat. Stir in flour still smooth and bubbly. Remove from heat. Slowly add liquids, stirring to keep it smooth. Return to heat. Bring to gentle boil. Cook, stirring constantly, till thickened. Season with salt and pepper. NOTE: if you are doing soup with Add-ins that are not cooked, cook them first in the butter. It doesn't look as smooth as you make the soup, but it will smooth out as you go.


Homeschooling

I'm sure those of you who are homeschoolers have made your plans and ordered your books. This time of year is always exciting for me. I'm excited to get into the new books. I have high hopes for how much we are going to learn this year, and how well things are going to go. I have learned to temper this excitement, since it isn't shared by my children and reality is usually not as rosey as I hope it will be.

One thing I am trying this year, in hopes that things will go smoother when we officially start, is to start with my little kids first. I mean that I'm working with them now, teaching them to play with the toddler and preschool toys I have for them so they won't need as much of my attention when we officially launch school next week. In the past, I have waited for Launch Day, and my excitement has been sapped when my toddlers won't sit still, or get into all the supplies, or try to eat all the new crayons before I have even started our first lesson. This time, I thought that if I start with them, a few weeks before The Day, they will be over some of the excitement and have a bit of a routine built already. Maybe it will be easier to insert the formal school into this framework.

Another thing I've done is get our schedule a bit more settled beforehand. I've been working from a schedule most of the summer, just to keep chaos at bay, so I have been adjusting it slowly to make sure I can work school into it as easily as possible.

Finally, as we begin school, I have just decided that I don't expect to accomplish anything big for the first week or two. It will take us that long to get back into the groove and get everybody used to the new activities. So I go through the motions for the first couple of weeks, but I don't expect much to stick because of all the interruptions and upheaval. I know if I stick to it, after those first few weeks we'll hunker down and really make progress.


Quick Tip

KISS - Keep It Super Simple

One thing I do to help keep things straight with my kids is I assigned them all a color. I bought plastic dishes, bowls and cups in rainbow colors, and each child is assigned their color. I have several sets of each, so I have enough even if the dishwasher isn't clean.

This helps me in many ways. It helps me know which child didn't put away their dish after a meal. It also helps me when I'm dishing out food, since each child wants their food a bit different - more or less of something, various condiments, etc. I used to dish out according to what the child would want, but forget which plate belonged to which child. It really helps me keep track of cups, which seem to constantly sprout legs and wander away under the furniture. I know what color cup I'm looking for, and I know which color is missing from the counter. And it helps me teach the toddlers not to drink from someone else's cup, and helps them learn their colors.
You can take the color code a lot further - apply it to any area where you are having trouble with things being left out. I bought pencil boxes in 5 different colors this year. They don't correspond to the colors we have assigned, but they are all different so they will learn which belongs to whom. I know some large families use the color code with towels. That way you know who didn't hang up their towel after their bath or shower. We try to use the code for toothbrushes, or at least get them all different.

The possibilities are endless here. Do you have an area in your house that is challenging to keep straight with all your children? Color code it!


Deuteronomy 6:7 (NKJV)"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."